Five Things Every Girl Should Know (Week 4)

Unlocking The Traps -- Fulfilling Our Destinies

Posted by Kathy on Dec 30, 2009 in Blog | 0 comments

“Yielding to Jesus will break every form of slavery in any human life” Chambers, Utmost

“Throw Mama From The Train” is a movie with a plot that revolves around a blocked, writer (Billy Crystal) and one of his writing students (Danny Devito). Neither man can move on in their life, both blame this on a pivotal relationship in their life.

I get that.  My mind has a million ways to file and process the simple truth.  The truth that regardless of my circumstances or relationships, it is always me who gets in my own way and the old stories that I act out over and over that remind me to stay safe and never risk too much.

The fourth trap every girl should know is that We all get in our own way .

It is so tempting to believe that my life would take on a newly waxed sheen “if only…

“If only I could land that job?” “If only I could sell that book.” “If only I could meet the perfect partner.” This kind of thinking is so insipid and sneaky, that it has taken most of my life to realize that no one and nothing has this power. In other words, I am the only one who has the ability to keep me from experiencing the life God has for me.

Here are a few ways we block ourselves.

1. Procrastination:  Not doing something that we can beat ourselves up for later and rob our energies.  Example: writing your next chapter, taxes, mowing the lawn, cleaning out the garage.

2. Do-it-yourself mentality: It is not empowering to be a control freak. I have found great freedom loosening my grip and letting others do some work, make mistakes and find their own success. Example: housework, my kid’s life choices

3. Asking For help: I struggle with this, because somewhere along the way I was convinced that to ask for help shows weakness. Instead, I have found that being willing to reveal my greatest vulnerabilities can be a great asset to connection and empowering others. Example: marketing, grammar, and weight loss

4. Polishing my ego:  Okay, so I don’t actually polish it, but I have been known to dust it off over just the perfect sentence, or spend too much energy trying to look brilliant. Sometimes this has even been spiritualized as a form of Godly excellence.

5. Fear: Life is scary and so by all means, stay safe, don’t risk anything. Of course to get anywhere worthwhile, you must stretch out of that nice, comfort zone. We must be fiercely convicted that we are called to be risk-takers. Example: getting married, having children, writing my first book and starting my own business.

6. Negative thinking: This is the one two punch.  If we can convince ourselves that something won’t work, most likely it won’t.  Example: learning to ski, joining a gym, or organizing anything.

So how do you get out of your own way? The key to unlocking the trap of getting in your own way, is to LET GO OF FEAR. If you trace the path in which you block your own growth, you will find a root base of fear.  Getting in your own way always begins with something you fear, whether  it is failure or success.

The Word says, that “love casts out all fear.”  I used to wonder how love would ever help rid me of my  fear of public speaking.  After years of surrendering my fear to God, I discovered it is indeed love that removes fear. Now, when I speak, I think about all of those people who God sent to me.  My job is to love them, truly want to be there for them and help them get what they need. When I am not obsessed about me, when it is not about me then the fear takes a back seat. Now the butterflies I feel are a sense of readiness, not something I fear.

We all must be willing to surrender fear, because it gets in our way.

Take some time today to think about the ways you have gotten in your own way in 2009.

1. How do I get in my own way and how have they impacted my life?

2. When in the past have I pushed through my fear? What was the outcome?

3.  What will I commit to changing in 2010?

4. Who can I enlist to help me stay out of my own way?

Now you have a few tools to prayerfully make a commitment to be conscious to the ways you have gotten in your way and begin to make changes. This will enable you to move beyond traps that enslave you and live in the freedom that Christ offers.  This is one task you can’t afford to procrastinate about!  My wish for you is that you will make personal growth and freedom your cause for in 2010 and let go of what you fear.