Life Truths

Posted by Kathy on Feb 18, 2010 in Blog | 1 comment

I found this wonderful article the other day and wanted to share it with you.  As you read it, think about your own life truths.  What do you know that you know? ~ Kathy

by Lorene Burkhart

One of the advantages of being 70-plus years old is that I can look back at my life and recognize milestones that I call life truths. What is a life truth? For me, it’s one of those aha! moments when I can see the whole picture instead of just the pieces.

Sometimes when we’re enduring the unimaginable we can feel only our hurt, pain so intense that we can’t possibly look or think beyond it. Hopefully, as time passes, we gain a bigger perspective and the fragments of events meld into a whole picture. Then we can put these events into their place, understanding that by allowing healing to occur our lives become better in every way.

How long does that take? There is no one formula; it’s different for everyone. One must, however, allow the process to happen. The life truth: Give yourself permission to heal.

As I have walked, raced, and leap-frogged my way through my long life I have come to the realization that the speed of progress is not as important as the outcome. Like most people, I prefer to have things move along at a brisk pace, but sometimes I can hardly keep up with how rapidly everything moves; the first of the month comes along and then, before I know it, the end of the month has arrived! And frequently I’ve chafed at the slowness of a project but later appreciate that the longer time spent only added to the quality.

The life truth: Patience is a virtue; practice it often.

Long ago, I learned the bitter lesson of being responsible for my actions and accountable for my choices. I’m grateful for my early years growing up on a farm, where not doing my chores could lead to possibly deadly consequences. A good example would be my childhood chore of feeding the chickens. I usually didn’t want to run to the chicken yard in the evenings, preferring instead to play. Skipping it simply wasn’t an option, however. The birds’ health and lives depended on regular and timely feedings. This awareness of accountability came early and has stayed late, causing me to examine in advance what could be disastrous results of my actions.

The life truth: When making choices, always consider the consequences.

One of the most difficult things we can experience is being betrayed. We hold the pain and outrage it creates close and embrace thoughts of getting even. Oh, what we would like to do to the betraying husband, coworker, boss, or (former) girlfriend! We lie awake imagining how they will feel when we return what they did to us, in spades. Dwelling in that get-even mode, however, causes stress, unhappiness, and feeling out of touch with our better selves. It’s counter-productive, plain and simple, and we hurt no one but ourselves.

The life truth: The longer we hold in our bad feelings, the longer they will last.

People with overcharged personalities (like mine) tackle everything with gusto, believing that all is possible. Then we proceed to try to prove it can be done. We dash from meeting to meeting, project to project, fun time to fun time, and the list goes on. What we don’t realize is that we’re driving everyone around us crazy and wearing them out, as well as ourselves. It may take years for the full impact to bring us down, but when that does happen and it will the crash is not a pretty sight! No one else expects us to be the be-all-do-it-all wonder person, and we shouldn’t expect it from ourselves, either.

The life truth: A balanced life is more important than trying to do it all.

And that brings to mind the phrase, “Take time to smell the roses.” This carries a different connotation for each of us, from giving yourself a quiet time with each of your children, time alone with your spouse, or time spent specifically on yourself. Yes, that’s right: yourself! After all, if you don’t give something to yourself, you won’t end up with anything to give to others. That may mean giving yourself permission for something you might not otherwise do, such as taking piano lessons, writing poetry, or changing jobs. It could be a weekly massage, or even something as simple as having your favorite Starbuck’s coffee every day. Whatever it is, it doesn’t need to be lengthy or costly, as long as it gives you a break.

The life truth: You have to be able to depend on yourself, so you should love yourself as the most important person in your life.

A final word: What you become depends so much on the foundation on which you build your life. Throughout my own life, my faith in God has guided me, prodded me, and opened unbelievable vistas.

The life truths: Be forgiving of yourself and others; be patient and let time take its course; be responsible for how you live; don’t dwell on past injuries; focus on what really matters; and take care of yourself.

The greatest life truth: More important than anything else is living in the light of faith.

Lorene Burkhart was born on a farm near Vincennes, Indiana, and graduated from Purdue University with a degree in home economics. Her colorful careers have ranged from radio and TV personality (the original Martha Stewart of Indianapolis), to one of the first female executives in the country for a major corporation, to entrepreneur and to publisher. After her marriage to John Burkhart in 1985, she focused her energies on community service and has served on the boards of many local civic organizations, raising millions of dollars for them.

Burkhart holds honorary doctorates from Purdue and the University of Indianapolis, where she is a trustee. She has received numerous awards for her contributions to the community, including two Sagamores of the Wabash.

She has two sons and five grandchildren.