TRIBES: The Rule of 1/3

“Andy Paige–a stylist on TLC– explains that you need to look for your 1/3. To summarize: Andy argues that 1/3 of the people you come across will dislike you; 1/3 of the people you meet will be indifferent toward you; and 1/3 of the people you come into contact with will love you. You’re looking for that that last 1/3. Those are your people. Don’t worry about the other 2/3.” Seth Godin, Tribes

Why do we want to be liked by absolutely everyone? Rarely have I met a woman who understands that will never happen. Mostly, because it shouldn’t. Every one of us has a built in magnet that attracts those who are polarized and attracted to what we have to offer. This makes us all the more rare and valuable to our tribe.

I love the rule of 1/3 because:

It gives us permission to be ourselves: If I am expecting everyone to like me and fit in to every group I attend, then I am setting myself up to feel like there must be something wrong with me. I must be weird. I must be anti-social. I must not be good enough. Do you see where I am going here? This is just what keeps us from being true to ourselves and acting on our own God given personality. I have a friend who wears pajamas and hats in public. She is an artist and doesn’t much care what others think of her attire or need for comfort. 2/3 of most people will think she is odd, a little strange and maybe unstable. BUT, her 1/3 will think she is incredibly fascinating. If she was buttoned down in dockers and a cardigan they may not have found her. Think about that next time you are tempted to fit in.

It gives us realistic expectations: I figure every Christmas, I get about 1/3 of the cards I send out. I have come to accept it and don’t take it personally that every person I send a card to doesn’t send me one in return. The cards I get are the ones I was supposed to get, whether I sent out cards or not. The same is true with friendships. For all the women I meet, perhaps a third will be any more than an introduction. In turn, I am less likely to feel pressure to like everyone I meet and let my gut alert me when I meet a member of my tribe.

So go out there and practice the law of 1/3,
Wear pajamas
Recite poetry
Stash Chocolate
Read French Literature
Wear a tiara
Get a tattoo
Run like a girl
Pass on God’s love.
1/3 of us are going to find our tribes in 2012!

Kathy Vick is the Founder and Coach for RUN LIKE A GIRL.ORG.
Contact her for a sample coaching or Hire Kathy to speak for your group!
Email: Kathy@runlikeagirl.org
Phone: 503 886 9642

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