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CLEAN HOUSE-NEW LIFE

Three Steps to Coming Clean So You Can Dream!

Posted by Kathy on Jan 21, 2010 in Blog | 4 comments

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

Clean House New Life podcast

Last week a friend on facebook posted that she had cleaned out some drawers and cupboards and felt renewed and exuberant. 

Extravagant Love

Posted by Kathy on Jan 16, 2010 in Blog | 3 comments

“Grace was in all her steps. Heaven in her eye, In every gesture dignity and love.” — John Milton

Last week I was reminded that my engine runs on love.  Without it I don’t get very far.  Lucky me. Sometimes it humbles me to think that I need it to keep going. Other times I feel like I hit the jackpot.  It is not just quirky line in my character that God doodled during a dull moment.  It his way of reminding me, I can’t do anything without him.

So, I will take a deep breath and admit to you that I have been discouraged. It isn’t just one thing, but many little things that sort all ganged up on me at once.  I came into this year dragging my heart behind me.

Maybe you are there with me.

It is an understatement to say that we never know how God will deliver the fuel to keep us going. He is a master at showing up with the goods just in time. I got a picture this week of just how well he knows me and how incredibly creative he is.  A woman who I have never met posted a photo and wrote on my facebook page, “This photo of my daughter and granddaughter’s feet arrived in my E-mail this morning. I sent your book to my daughter, she took it from there. Thanks for your uplifting words.” I laughed out loud. There were the red converse from the cover of my book, Run Like A Girl! How fun!

The next day a package arrived from a woman who I met through a speakers bureau, when I needed someone to fulfill a speaking obligation I had.  She graciously went in my place and we have been friends ever since.  Here is the picture of what was in the package. Handmade refrigerator magnets in a metal tin, spell out Run-Like-A-Girl. How Creative!

These were both acts of love—an inkling of Heaven where our next word will be anticipated and our inner workings known. My wish for you this year is that you get the fuel you need—God’s fun, creative extravagant love.

Five Things Every Girl Should Know (Week 5)

Unlocking The Traps -- Fulfilling Our Destinies

Posted by Kathy on Jan 1, 2010 in Blog | 3 comments

Down the street is a monstrous willow tree. The trunk is 10 feet in diameter and its cathedral-sized dimensions fill an entire lot. It holds court as the most beautiful tree for miles. Everyday, I pass under it just for a moment and let its soft tendrils sweep across my face. Inside this willow sanctuary, I try to breath-in the green and exhale the stuff I obsess about.

You know, what I’m talking about?

I am referring to the times in my life when I am petty and want everything to be fair.
When it has been more important to be right, to be justified, or to be vindicated. I attempt to own up to my struggle to be acknowledged, valued, and important. As I stand there it is clear to me that these things make me small. They diminish God in me. They cut me down to size and impair His vision for my life.

The number 5th thing every girl should know is that Unforgiveness robs us of our power.

So many times in my life, I have held on to old wounds, refusing to forgive and move on and I can tell you first hand, it has blocked and impaired me.  The problem with unforgiveness is that it continues to give power to the person or situation that hurt you.  While we may think we are punishing someone by not forgiving, we are really robbing ourselves. It doesn’t really matter whether anyone deserves forgiveness, you deserve to be a person who can forgive and get moving down a life infused path.  You deserve to LIVE WEIGHTLESS. This is the the key to unlocking the trap of unforgiveness.

Are there areas in your life where old wounds have impaired your vision? If you don’t know I am betting your kids and husband know. Your close friends know.  Even my dog, who I think is part therapist and Den mother, knows when I am acting out of this place. She knows when I am not present, pawing the ground over life sucking emotions that rob me of my energies.

What I really want is to be like that willow tree. To let my life stretch a across the sky giving sanctuary to all who stand in my neighborhood. I want to flourish with deep roots that allow me to be steady and cool in times of crisis and sadness. I want to in the flow of life, always growing, moving and adapting.

I challenge you to put the spotlight on the things that hold you back. Get support to let them go, enlist the help of a mentor, a coach or counselor. These thoughts and emotions do not serve you and they will not let you go to the places God has designed for you.

Consider these questions:

1. Who are the people and circumstances in my life that have hurt me?

2. Where have I robbed myself of power by giving it over to my anger?

3. What do I want to do about the unforgiveness in my life?

4.  Who do I need to forgive?

Today is the first day of  2010. As we face this New Year I think the world could use a few more willow trees. Places of sanctuary and refueling, where our God given power can be restored and refreshed.
My wish for you in 2010 is that you will commit to LIVE WEIGHTLESS and once again find the vision and power for your path.  The world is waiting…

Five Things Every Girl Should Know (Week 4)

Unlocking The Traps -- Fulfilling Our Destinies

Posted by Kathy on Dec 30, 2009 in Blog | 0 comments

“Yielding to Jesus will break every form of slavery in any human life” Chambers, Utmost

“Throw Mama From The Train” is a movie with a plot that revolves around a blocked, writer (Billy Crystal) and one of his writing students (Danny Devito). Neither man can move on in their life, both blame this on a pivotal relationship in their life.

I get that.  My mind has a million ways to file and process the simple truth.  The truth that regardless of my circumstances or relationships, it is always me who gets in my own way and the old stories that I act out over and over that remind me to stay safe and never risk too much.

The fourth trap every girl should know is that We all get in our own way .

It is so tempting to believe that my life would take on a newly waxed sheen “if only…

“If only I could land that job?” “If only I could sell that book.” “If only I could meet the perfect partner.” This kind of thinking is so insipid and sneaky, that it has taken most of my life to realize that no one and nothing has this power. In other words, I am the only one who has the ability to keep me from experiencing the life God has for me.

Here are a few ways we block ourselves.

1. Procrastination:  Not doing something that we can beat ourselves up for later and rob our energies.  Example: writing your next chapter, taxes, mowing the lawn, cleaning out the garage.

2. Do-it-yourself mentality: It is not empowering to be a control freak. I have found great freedom loosening my grip and letting others do some work, make mistakes and find their own success. Example: housework, my kid’s life choices

3. Asking For help: I struggle with this, because somewhere along the way I was convinced that to ask for help shows weakness. Instead, I have found that being willing to reveal my greatest vulnerabilities can be a great asset to connection and empowering others. Example: marketing, grammar, and weight loss

4. Polishing my ego:  Okay, so I don’t actually polish it, but I have been known to dust it off over just the perfect sentence, or spend too much energy trying to look brilliant. Sometimes this has even been spiritualized as a form of Godly excellence.

5. Fear: Life is scary and so by all means, stay safe, don’t risk anything. Of course to get anywhere worthwhile, you must stretch out of that nice, comfort zone. We must be fiercely convicted that we are called to be risk-takers. Example: getting married, having children, writing my first book and starting my own business.

6. Negative thinking: This is the one two punch.  If we can convince ourselves that something won’t work, most likely it won’t.  Example: learning to ski, joining a gym, or organizing anything.

So how do you get out of your own way? The key to unlocking the trap of getting in your own way, is to LET GO OF FEAR. If you trace the path in which you block your own growth, you will find a root base of fear.  Getting in your own way always begins with something you fear, whether  it is failure or success.

The Word says, that “love casts out all fear.”  I used to wonder how love would ever help rid me of my  fear of public speaking.  After years of surrendering my fear to God, I discovered it is indeed love that removes fear. Now, when I speak, I think about all of those people who God sent to me.  My job is to love them, truly want to be there for them and help them get what they need. When I am not obsessed about me, when it is not about me then the fear takes a back seat. Now the butterflies I feel are a sense of readiness, not something I fear.

We all must be willing to surrender fear, because it gets in our way.

Take some time today to think about the ways you have gotten in your own way in 2009.

1. How do I get in my own way and how have they impacted my life?

2. When in the past have I pushed through my fear? What was the outcome?

3.  What will I commit to changing in 2010?

4. Who can I enlist to help me stay out of my own way?

Now you have a few tools to prayerfully make a commitment to be conscious to the ways you have gotten in your way and begin to make changes. This will enable you to move beyond traps that enslave you and live in the freedom that Christ offers.  This is one task you can’t afford to procrastinate about!  My wish for you is that you will make personal growth and freedom your cause for in 2010 and let go of what you fear.

Five Things Every Girl Should Know (week 3)

Unlocking The Traps -- Fulfilling Our Destinies

Posted by Kathy on Dec 20, 2009 in Blog | 0 comments

The number three thing you need to know is that You have a Saboteur in your head.

Inside our heads is a voice that stands in our way from making progress with our intentions. I refer to her as “the bad girlfriend”, because if she were a real woman we would have nothing to do with her.

Unfortunately, she lives inside your mind and took resident there long ago.  Maybe you have met her.  She is the voice that encourages you with words like “Who do you think you are?” or “You aren’t a very good mom”. She makes keen observations like “Man, You look old today”, “Wow, you’ve put on a few pounds.”  She inspires you with” You never were any good at that, what makes today different?  The bad girlfriend knows every button of your subconscious mind.  In stealth mode she runs your life–her goal was to keep me in a small place where she held all the controls.

The first step to unlocking the trap of the saboteur is to identify, spotlight and Dismiss the Bad Girlfriend. After all, the sooner she leaves the better.

How do you identify the bad girlfriend?

Notice what comes up for you when she is speaking?  Do you feel uplifted or taken down a notch?  Do you feel like you need to work harder or longer?  These are her identifying features. Notice your indicators, does your blood pressure go up, do you worry or feel anxious. DO YOU FEEL DE-ENERGIZED?

When you bring her out into the open and put her under the light, she begins to loosen her control and you get back the keys to moving forward towards a bigger life.

How do you dismiss the saboteur? Dismissing the bad girlfriend begins with deciding to become a friend of your mind—to guard and protect it from inside out.

1.    Notice themes and schemes of her voice. What are things that are always on your mind? Those extra pounds, your friendships or your job? What is the running dialogue? “You’ll never stick to eating better, you never finish anything?” “You must have said something wrong, because your friend isn’t calling you?” “You need to do a better job or you may get fired?”

2.  Decide what is true. I can guarantee you that the Bad Girlfriend is not telling you the truth—or at least not the whole truth.  So decide what you believe and dismiss the rest.  Take back control; remember you get to choose what you believe about yourself and your life.

Homework for this week:

1. What are your own personal indicators that you have a Bad Girlfriend in your head?

2. How much time do you spend trying to deal with fear, anxious thoughts, and low self worth?

3. How can you decide what is true about what she says?

4. Who can you enlist  help from?

Be a friend of your mind and stop the conversations inside your head that defeat you before you start.  I am reminded of SNL’s Stuart Smalley, who would look in a mirror at the end of every show and repeat, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”  He would say anything less was just “stinkin thinkin.”  I agree, a woman who has dismissed her Bad Girlfriend, is a woman that is free to focus her heart and mind on her intentions and knows she will get there. That is my wish for you.